Leanne Shawler, Artist

On re-reading these chapters, it almost feels like I  have to go back to chapters 11 and 12, and ignore my agonizing over scripture interpretation and just pick up from the bottom of page 132 and read it again, because it feels like I've somehow missed something. That perhaps, even though that I've experienced God's overwhelming love, I still don't quite believe it. I remember that morning on the mountaintop (which I will blog about some day if I haven't already). The extravagant love poured upon me. Extravagant only because I didn't believe it would ever come. And when for a while you believe that you'll never be worth God's love, it sticks. It's slowly getting unstuck, but there are days I forget. I trust in God more each day, and my actions, my worship, reflect that. On the days I'm trusting God, anyway. And I remember His love more and more when my trigger of worry and anxiety is fired off. Some days I'm surrendering that fear ...

"grace for the good girl" by Emily Freeman is a book I would heartily recommend to anybody who needs to please, who is a Martha rather than a Mary, who identifies with the prodigal son's brother more than the son. In fact, I finished reading the book and immediately handed it to a friend on retreat with me as I recognized that we shared some of the same "masks". Even so, I struggled through Emily's interpretation of two pieces of scripture. I even ended up emailing her to ask about it. (She very generously replied with some links.) I did find my way to the same point she reached, so I was able to finish the book. Also, I want to point out: this is two bits of scripture out of the many Emily refers to in this book. I don't recall any problems with the rest. If Emily's interpretation worked for you, you don't need to read on. I am not saying she is wrong. I'm saying that my theology (built via my background and study) couldn't ho...

When I started to write this post, I went straight to my head. There was catechism and scripture quoting and all sorts of things. After it was written and as I fell asleep, I found myself thinking: where am I in this post?   Are these not meant to be meditations on our experience with this? Why did I go directly to the intellectual, safe, place?  What am I not doing that's made me put on my lecture pants? (I imagine them to be an orange plaid.)    Lecture-girl is usually guilt-driven (why yes, I have read   emily freeman 's   "grace for the good girl"   and I am doing the   read-along too ). What is it in "and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life" that scares me? Am I really dying to self? Am I really stepping aside and letting God lead me, guide me? When it comes to God versus the couch and potato chips, not so much. Before we get to the possible answers to these questions, let's segue and talk a bit about "eternal...

I have a feeling this summer is going to be the summer of read-alongs. But here's one that started last week and that I meant to blog about but obviously didn't. I've already read emily freeman's "grace for the good girl" once and really wanted to read it again. I loaned my copy to a fellow good girl, so I had to go get myself another copy which I've actually been underlining (in pencil). Yeah, I'm such a good girl. But I think I can say for the most part, that I am a recovering good girl. This week covers chapters 4-6, including my favorite chapter on Martha of Bethany.  As it's a read-along on the author's blog, you can catch up quite easily, or read along at your own pace. It's a great book, even if I disagree with the theology in chapter 10. This week's questions (and my answers) are: 1. What is your main reason for hiding behind your fake fine?  Is it because you are afraid (what will they think of me!), lazy (it ta...