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Showing posts from August, 2012

Up - a new way of looking at things

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One of the great things about Liz Lamoreaux's "inner excavation" book was her use of the camera to get different perspectives of things. I never thought of taking pictures of myself jumping, or my feet or putting my camera onto the ground to get that perspective. While I was at Mt. Calvary at the end of July, I took some of these photos as I was still in the inner excavate-along (the read along on Liz's blog) but as I was also on a bird spotting kick thanks to woodpeckers nesting in view of the rear patio, I started looking up. And saw this was another perspective worth taking photos of. So here are my "up" photos from that trip. heart shape hidden in tree bird nest (left of V) red house finch nest in Poor Clare chapel roof sequoia I plan to revisit Liz's prompts every now and then on this blog. Maybe it will inspire you to look at the world a little differently too?

Joy Dare Monday

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The list is a little shorter this week. There were a couple of days of just two things instead of three, but I'm finding I'm not writing them all down for some reason. Probably because the little note book doesn't go everywhere with me and so when I remember something, it's usually a few days later... Usually when I'm looking at photos. Went to the zoo last Wednesday and find that I really enjoy watching the flamingoes. It's partly because  I've been watching a wee one grow into an adult (over three trips in two months thus far) ... although I have no idea which one of the fledgelings is the wee one I spotted that first time. 736. seeing a transformed palm tree (might actually be a tree fern) 737. one orange pigeon amongst a flock of grey ones 738. waking up to marine layer (finally!) 739. cloud cover lasting until home from grocery shop 740. imagining what it would be like to be the Samaritan woman at the well listening to Philip share the good news

How We Can Be a Hero Like Katniss...

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On Tuesday, I shared why I thought Katniss was a hero. Remember, Katniss is not perfect because of her heroism. She has many faults and failings. But she sees worth in the human life around her. At the end of that post, I asked the question: how do we show that we too see worth in human life? By acknowledging the dignity of another human being. Smile at someone, or say a kind word (or both). And not just to someone who looks like you, or who reminds you of someone you care for, but someone who is a bit different from you, who might make you uncomfortable? It could be somebody homeless, for example, just a smile to say "I see you." Support a local orphanage or foster program by participating in fundraising or visiting them if they allow guests. Sponsor a child t hrough World Vision or some other program and do more than just send money. Write to them and let them know you care. Listen to somebody. It could be a friend, a co-worker, an acquaintance. So

Is Katniss a hero?

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Ok, if you haven't seen The Hunger Games and haven't read the entire trilogy and don't want to be spoiled, you should stop reading now. The Hunger Games has just come out on DVD, so I thought I'd share some reflections that have been floating around in my brain since I saw the movie and read the books. When I first saw The Hunger Games , I hadn't read the books. I didn't want to see it really, I'm not fond of violent films, but it was getting really good reviews so we went. I found the movie disturbing. I realized that by watching the "games" part of the movie and rooting for Katniss, Peeta and Rue, I was participating (in a sense) in condoning the murders of the other child contestants, even the ones who were made almost inhuman by their training. It made me extraordinarily uncomfortable that watching this, even as pretend, was remotely okay with me or anyone else in that theatre. It isn't. But the books don't just stop at mak

Joy Dare Monday

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It's been an interesting week ... one where I realized that I'd replaced the busyness of work with another kind of busyness and I haven't been doing as much intentional listening for discernment. Thank goodness I am still able to see the other ways God is working in my world, like these gifts. banner in Sunday School classroom @ St. Peter's. 715. the gift of light 716. rediscovering old CDs 717. 2nd shower of the day, so cooling 718. ants chowing down on a tomato 719. art as envisioned (so far anyway -- it's the background) 720. prayer answered: I double-booked, resigned myself to missing the other because this was a reschedule, and I just got called to re-schedule! 721. red sunset cloud wisps 722. a cool morning 723. cooler than expected day 724. reading encouragement to be a lighthouse and not hide my light 725. Chuao's with former work buddies 726. misunderstanding Dan and figuring it out half an hour later -- and we both laughed about it

What does God want me to do?

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statue @ Mt. Calvary That's the question I've been pondering since I left work at the end of June. I left, making grandiose statements like: I had to clear the decks to answer that call: to ask, to listen, to obey. I know I am incredibly privileged to not have to work and be able to spend this time in discernment.   and: I've been told more than once that this will be really hard, to not be drawn back into that old way of being.   But I've promised God to sit at His feet and learn what it is that he has in store for me next, and it wouldn't surprise me that I will discover a few new things about being in relationship with God in the process.   I have to put to one side all speculation on the future, all that I am comfortable with now, all that others hope I will do, and allow God to reveal God's plan. Wow. It really sounds like I've been peering closely at my navel and being super-holy, doesn't it? Turns out, not so much. I've don

20/20 hindsight of God's mercy and grace

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I am part of a group at my church taking the Bible in a Year challenge. This is not to boast about my being on track in my Bible reading (which incidentally I do via YouVersion which has reading plans). The group checks in via email and the occasional in-person meeting and at our last check in, I was in Proverbs. I whined about it, praising the Psalms in the same electronic breath: Proverbs is just tedious.  I wonder if some wit wrote a version that was a mother's advice to her daughters ... too bad that didn't get in, although I expect it'd be just as tedious. But perhaps that at least would be amusing like the etiquette books of the Georgian/Regency/Victorian era... At any rate, you'd think that a guy with all that wisdom like Solomon had, thanks to God giving it to him, would have actually paid attention to the words he spouted to his sons instead of marrying a gazillion wives, very few of whom (apparently), got the YHWH thing at all.   Unless of cour

Joy Dare: writing an icon (praying to God)

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This past week was primarily composed of the icon writing class I took, Monday to Friday, 9:00am to 4:00pm. I found this moving not just in terms of patience -- there were plenty of moments when I had to pause, draw in breath, and paint a fine line while breathing the Jesus Prayer -- but also a moment or two of beautiful communion with God. I wrote about this yesterday . But if you don't feel like wading through a lot of pictures of the same icon at different stages of its creation, you'll be able to see those special moments in the gifts I've listed below. 692. grey sea and grey sky 693. stroking Jesus' hair (while tracing it) 694. melted lemon sorbet 696. drawing on reserves of patience I didn't know I had 697. blue sea 698. breath of cool breeze 699. egg salad sandwich 700. Jesus' face turning out okay even though it didn't look good for a while there 701. not so hot walking home 702. the magic of gold leaf 703. warm scent of eucaly

How I gained patience through icon writing

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Ah, blogging. It was something I was quite prepared not to do last week (time of writing), because I was up to my neck in an icon writing workshop with Rev. Paige Blair at St. Peter's Episcopal, Del Mar. But I have a lot of photos and thought it would better to get this started earlier in the week rather than later. (at least until something interesting comes on the Olympics.) We wrote the icon of Jesus Pantocrater (King of the World, basically).  I'll get to patience in a minute. Tracing his hair felt like I was stroking it.  Each movement is a prayerful act, although truthfully, by the end of the second day, the prayer is more: "Lord, please let this be the layer of color that is the last!" or "Please Lord, don't let my hand be jiggled!" Progress after first day Some images from the classroom and environs: Progress at the end of day 2: hair and robes.  The light comes from Jesus, not an outside source. At the end

How to Deal with Impatience

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I am an impatient person. And I'm struggling with it right now. I have a ministry. But I don't know who I am supposed to minister to, or in what way. This time since leaving my job is supposed to be figuring this out, waiting on God. It's been just over a month, but honestly, I've been impatient since the two week mark. I am pretty sure God is teaching me patience, and doubtless there is other stuff to learn before launching my ministry too. Which is why I've spent time on the "inner excavation" led by Liz Lamoreux. And why on leaving my job, my friend has reminded me to remember to honor the process and have patience. When she sees me, she reminds me: "P! P!" (and at first I thought she needed directions to the bathroom, but she knew the location so what was she saying?  Ohhh.... Process. Patience.) I asked a monk for counsel. The upshot was that when ever I feel myself getting impatient, I have a choice: continue to be impatient a

week 6: "i open my heart"

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I spent some time while on retreat looking at the "i open my heart" prompt from the "inner excavation" read-along (which has officially finished, but you can start it any time). It's a collaboration, but I'm sharing my side of it only because I haven't asked my friend if it's okay to share hers. After taking a lot of pictures... .... here is what came to me: be. as simple as that. be myself. be real. be vulnerable/open. be brave. be love. be. this image and the one below were taken in the Poor Clares chapel (and yes, I feel weird taking pictures in a sacred space)

When Being a Gift is a Gift (Joy Dare Monday)

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succulent @ Mission Santa Barbara As I write down these gifts, I've come across ones that I want to write down, but (mostly) haven't because they're not gifts to me, but gifts I've given to someone else. I'll have to check what Ann Voskamp says about this in her book, but it's striking me more and more that the ability to give and choosing to give are also God-given gifts to us. It can be as simple as giving two quarters to someone who is short bus fare, and as complex and delightful as an almost two-hour long conversation with a trusted friend, where much is given and received. So I've decided to include these, not to brag (and I'm not going to mark them in any way to suggest that it was me doing the giving), but to recognize that gifts aren't just sweet and beautiful, or difficult and ugly, but are given as well. Here are this past week's gifts: 672. tomatoes ripening 673. vet bill 674. lovely chat with friend 675. humming the

God's Love Stories: God's gifts to us

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What a month it has been. My first full month of not working and it's been a month of my heart breaking open -- in a beautiful and good way. Emily Freeman at chatting at the sky writes about walking like a believer on a day thinking about heartbreak means feeling joy (still working that out, those aren't the right words. So far the right words are: "heartbreak. joy.") Brene Brown talks on TED about vulnerability . So beautiful (and thanks to Liz Lamoreux for mentioning her in her "inner excavate-along") my heart broke when I read this from Ann Voskamp's A Holy Experience the beautiful tribute to those killed in recent London terrorists was cut from the NBC coverage of the Olympics opening ceremony one of the things God seems to be teaching me is patience. Yes, I'll hold while y'all laugh hysterically at the thought of me actually being patient. I'm waiting....  Ok, so here's a post from Ann Voskamp at (in)courage about patienc

What rest and retreat can bring...

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Last week, I had the privilege to stay for five nights and six days at the St. Mary's Retreat House, run by the Mt. Calvary Community . (If that sounds like a mouthful, it's because the Mt. Calvary retreat house burnt down in the Tea Fires some years ago, and the Sisters of Holy Nativity who were running St. Mary's are letting them run it.) you'd think I'd have enough pictures of this St. Francis statue, but the sun was shining on him so brightly I love this place. I love hanging out with the brothers (who are Episcopalian Benedictine monks). I love the chanting. I love the peace that I find there. I was introduced the first night as "Here's Leanne. She's one of our regulars!" and my quip back was: "Are you saying that I'm coming here too often?" Of course not. No such thing. Mt. Calvary is my place to regroup, to rest and recover. It's where I can be free of distractions (okay, I snuck two peeks at Facebook this time,