Leanne Shawler, Artist

What has been the role of relationships and/or community in your spiritual growth? This question was recently posed on Facebook by Christianne Squires and I told her I could probably write an essay on it. So here it is. The roles of relationships and communities have both helped and hindered my spiritual growth. Community has hindered my spiritual growth by not teaching me. I've been a Christian from the cradle. I would say I spent the first half (currently) of my life not really getting Christianity. When your Christian education consists of some Sunday School and a confirmation class (where I was taught things my current church teaches to pre-K and elementary school aged children), it shouldn't be a surprise that I didn't really get it. I'd never been educated beyond a kindergarten level and somehow I was expected to know why it was so important to worship God and what exactly that entailed. I was taught nothing beyond "come to Sunday worship...

last year's wisteria. Despite this year's total lack of rain (until Thursday, anyway) -- this year looks just as lush I recently posted on another's blog a response that focused on church history: the Catholic view vs the Anglican view and how we kind of ignore the mainland Europe view despite its great influence on both sides in the U.K.. It struck me how quickly I leapt to the defense of Anglicanism, and how the more I wrote the more I realized I wasn't revealing the whole story. Yes, Protestants killed Catholics and Catholics killed Protestants probably in fairly equal measure. And we talk of kings, popes, queens and lives lost. But what about lives lived? Was there a mob mentality of only bad things happening: loss of life, destruction of vestments, hiding one's faith? Did nobody act kindly to another? Or did they persist in seeing the Other: not my beliefs, not my God, not-fill-in-the-blank. Was nobody kind even within the constraints off how cul...

Today we had a discussion in our Christian Adult Education class after listening to a TED talk about the history of the universe (in 18 minutes). A lot was said, from pointing out the scientific errors (or glosses) in the talk to intelligent design to the question of whether complexity means more vulnerability. And how does that apply to religious institutions? I wish I could say hilarity ensued, but it was pretty much each individual's belief of who/what God is. Words like "infinite" "omnipotent" "mystery" were shared. Vulnerability was pretty much seen as a "bad" thing (seriously, if there's another TED talk session we should watch Brene Brown ), which it isn't, but that didn't even occur to me until after. One of the points raised was that science asks the question "how?" and theology asks the question "why?" and each has its own set of tools and procedures for figuring out those questions. However, if...

Hangs heavy the ungiven promise of rain   Screening the sun   Air moist and cool    Hair curling in humidity.   The clouds stretch grey across the sky   In the distance their hidden majesty is revealed,    lit by unencumbered summer sun.   The world hangs silent,    still hoping,   waiting to receive. written July 1st, 7:54am (c) Leanne Shawler

altar rail detail, St. Paul's Cathedral, chapel, San Diego Have you ever had that moment when reading or hearing Scripture (we'll leave interpretation and preaching of said Scripture aside for the moment), and you are shaken to discover God doesn't seem to like you as much as you thought He was supposed to? That the Scripture you are reading demeans women, or ratifies slavery, or reviles the foreigner (hey, most of us are Gentiles, remember). When you read that there are sheep and goats and God will decide which are the sheep who get into heaven and which are the goats who will be cast into hell with much wailing and gnashing of teeth (making my orthodontist quite unhappy). And somewhere, perhaps  not so deep down, you wonder if you're following Christ truly enough to count as a sheep, because after all most of us in the United States are still among the richest people in this world. I am doing the Bible Challenge again this year and this is where stuff like t...

Continuing to count the gifts I find during the day... 1,022. a moment beautiful but forgotten 1,023. clementine 1,024. God holding my hand 1,025. red berries on magnolia 1,026. walk to park 1,027. Flakes (of the chocolate variety) 1,028. only having a minor meltdown over cooking 1,029. the smell of burgundy mushrooms throughout the whole house totally forgot to take a photo of what they looked like at the end of the 10+ hr process! 1,030. eshet chayil (woman of valor) 1,031. stomach settles for turkey 1,032. marshmallow topping turns out perfectly 1,033. dog's head nestled against my leg, same dog snoring 1,034. up until after midnight reading due to outraged stomach 1,035. ruining art journal page (in progress) 1,036. but fixing it anyway. 1,037. big hug 1,038. "The King of Glory comes" and dancing on the inside ( like this ) 1,039. the perfect offertory hymn for today's service but no chance to prepare Am linking th...

The list is a little shorter this week. There were a couple of days of just two things instead of three, but I'm finding I'm not writing them all down for some reason. Probably because the little note book doesn't go everywhere with me and so when I remember something, it's usually a few days later... Usually when I'm looking at photos. Went to the zoo last Wednesday and find that I really enjoy watching the flamingoes. It's partly because  I've been watching a wee one grow into an adult (over three trips in two months thus far) ... although I have no idea which one of the fledgelings is the wee one I spotted that first time. 736. seeing a transformed palm tree (might actually be a tree fern) 737. one orange pigeon amongst a flock of grey ones 738. waking up to marine layer (finally!) 739. cloud cover lasting until home from grocery shop 740. imagining what it would be like to be the Samaritan woman at the well listening to Philip share the good news...

My list this week is a wee bit epic. On retreat, I had more leisure to observe God's gifts. One of the things I am learning is about being not just aware of God's presence but open to it. Perhaps that's the same thing. While on retreat, I ended up spending time examining some of my negative emotions with the goal to let them go, a practice I had just learned via a Monk in the World podcast . I didn't realize it until that evening, but God had other plans. I am walking, processing negative emotions and I see seed pods fluttering in the breeze. I am utterly distracted. I resume walking and thinking, but noting what's in flower and then in the midst of journaling some particular insight, someone says "look at the turtles!"  Funny how it blurred, it looks like an impressionist painting... better pic later... I finish writing (ha!) and look at the turtles and share that with a few others in the park. Admire someone's purple glasses. Get back to...

Yeah, I know know. I just got started back doing the "Where's God?" journal, but Ann Voskamp has challenged her readers to a Joy Dare , and having almost finished her amazing book (at the time, I've since finished it), I have signed on. Writing down 1,000 gifts from God by December 31st, which is at least three gifts a day. There's not enough room on a page to fit that many ... so I might use the "Where's God?" for pictures, prayers, journaling about this Joy Dare journey. As I mentioned in Friday's post, I usually do 5-7 "Where's God?" moments a week. So this is a big challenge! So, incidentally, is math. I put down in my goals that I wanted to lose 25 lbs. Well, I do, eventually. Plus, I apparently can't do math, or don't remember numbers or something. But I'm supposed to set achievable goals, so the next step for me is to lose 15 lbs. So have revised to achieve! Here is the journal page I was working on when t...

We've moved from Wednesdays to Mondays. I didn't keep this journal while I took a blogging break. I guess I need my few readers to keep me accountable. Here's last week's list: As always, would love to hear how you've noticed God or how you've been affected by God in the past week. Am linking this up to Ann Voskamp's "multitudes on Mondays" (or will as soon as it goes up!)

While I am snuffling up a storm with a big head-cold (which is why I managed to set the date to 1/1/11 instead of 11/1/11) ... here's my "Where's God" for the week. I  hope you can join in. Where was God in your week? Comment below with your own list, link to your blog post about it, perhaps a photograph you took that illustrates it (a picture is worth a thousand words), or art illustrating your gratitude! (If I get enough folks participating, I'll start using a link party tool.) A couple of rules: 1. If you are linking, link to the specific post, not the main page of your blog. 2. Please, no links to online shops -- stay on topic! Feel free to post the blog button! <center><a href="http://provokingbeauty.blogspot.com/"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8lF-13I48XJBtsgw5UuI9GcoD2z2MxT4Zkq9...

Sarah, A new blogger that I've just started following ( Whispers on the Journey ) commented on an old post: "I love this idea to review each week like this! I would say God was in... 1) my chance to connect with like-minded people at a conference. 2)A sense of rest and centeredness coming out of some vacation time. 3) The church service I randomly caught tonight with words I needed to hear 4) God's drawing out of me, faithfully teaching" Glad you like the idea! Although it doesn't seem to be original to me. Here's my list for this week. The usual Faber Pitt Pens .... and I got to play with some bronze ink, which looks more like old gold .... and so I used a pen nib to do lines and waves. The waves kind of remind me of the sound waves reproduced in the the St. John's Bible. Which is really worth a post all on it's own. Even if I did only see facsimiles and not the real deal (which is in Minnesota, I think.) There are changes afoot in th...

Here's my page for this week. Yeah, I'm writing sideways on the page. Remember last week's page ? Yep, that's her skirt, I folded it around the page 'cause I thought it'd be kinda fun! While I plan to continue doing these pages, I'm considering abandoning this little link party idea. I think those who read my blog are far too few in number and I really have not gone out of my way to promote this puppy around the blogosphere. Instead, I'll keep doing the pages, but I'll link them to Ann Voskamp's weekly post where she asks her readers to share their gifts from God. Am not sure it's quite the same thing that I'm doing, but what the hey. (I really need to read her book) I'm also thinking about writing more about an item or two on  the list instead of just having occasionally cryptic items. Thoughts? And, for possibly the last time, or the last time for right now, who knows what changes will come down the wind... ...

I spent most of last week on retreat at a monastery (with to-die-for food!) and so this week's post reflects that. (The white clam sauce I made, the red clam sauce we had at Mt. Calvary was just as good!) It's a subpage, so it gets a bit crowded ... don't know if you can tell what the image is... Anyway, to spend almost an entire week focused on God instead of work, home, etc ... well, it was a real treat even if I don't include Luis' cooking! Where was God in your week? Comment below with your own list, link to your blog post about it, perhaps a photograph you took that illustrates it (a picture is worth a thousand words), or art illustrating your gratitude! (If I get enough folks participating, I'll start using a link party tool.) A couple of rules: 1. If you are linking, link to the specific post, not the main page of your blog. 2. Please, no links to online shops -- stay on topic! Feel fr...

Here is this week's "Where's God?" Where was God in your week? Comment below with your own list, link to your blog post about it, perhaps a photograph you took that illustrates it (a picture is worth a thousand words), or art illustrating your gratitude! (If I get enough folks participating, I'll start using a link party tool.) A couple of rules: 1. If you are linking, link to the specific post, not the main page of your blog. 2. Please, no links to online shops -- stay on topic! Feel free to post the blog button! <center><a href="http://provokingbeauty.blogspot.com/"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8lF-13I48XJBtsgw5UuI9GcoD2z2MxT4Zkq9wVSb1Hst30PU-ej4R_kcTRI84pWO4Gex3KIg0YU-gZHLa4Oam98aiIhpeyki9PVovtF34NLSynxlcc6AF5Bs1A84tpZyJNFr98uZge9GJ/s320/wheresGodblogbutton.jpg"/></a></center>...

 I started this post over a week ago. And then my last grandparent died and well, blogging has not been as big a priority as watching TV, sewing (you'll see the project soon, I hope), eating chocolate and, well grieving. I wanna send out a HUGE thank you to Claudia of Mockingbird Hill Cottage who was finally able to point me in the right direction for adding the "Wednesday's Where's God?" button and code to my blog. So here's last week's post followed by this week's. Last week: I've signed up for another online art class (with Suzi Blu again, called "A Lovely Dream" . Art journaling from September 1 until May next year. I just made the journal today.) So I shall be a bit of a journaling fiend. I also want to finish the big painting from her La Sirena class. I have faces sketched, just need to shade and get rolling on that one... So here is this week's Where's God? which covers the anniversary of 9/11. And here is thi...

I wrote epically in my journal about Sunday (9/11). Mainly about forgiveness. I've decided not to share it, mainly because it goes on for pages. However, what my church's rector (aka pastor) said on Sunday about the hard work that is forgiveness is well worth sharing here (scroll down to the September 11 listing). It also appears I forgot to hit the Publish button last week. Oops. So here's last week's Wednesday's Where's God: Karla from Back at Ya Babe wrote in last week's post that: "God has been in our circumstances this week." Here's my page for week 13... And here's this Wednesday's Where's God: The envelope holds a copy of the vows that we renewed on the 4th. (Not quite our anniversary, but we wanted to do it before our community of faith). Where was God in your week? Comment below with your own list, link to your blog post about it, perhaps a photograph you took that illustrates it (a picture ...