Leanne Shawler, Artist

Every morning the Daily Office provided by Mission St. Clare includes the Prayer of St. Francis.  It's a beautiful prayer, but alas it appears St. Francis of Assisi, a 13th century saint, didn't say or write it, according to Wikipedia . It first appeared in France in 1912. It is, however, a beautiful prayer and a summation of how we should live the Christian life. So I decided to write a series of meditations on it and when I figured out it was 14 lines, have asked some friends and bloggers I admire to chip in and write about a particular line. My co-writers include: my friends Helena and Lory (who don't blog), Sarah of Whispers on a Journey , St. Henry , Christianne Squires , and Joseph Pote of Redeemed! . Here is the prayer: Lord, make us instruments of your peace.  Where there is hatred, let us sow love; where there is injury, pardon;  where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light;...

The Jesus Prayer comes from the Eastern Orthodox tradition but I first learnt it a few years ago during a Lenten series on Isaiah 55. It was taught as a breath prayer, breathing in on the first part of the phrase, breathing out on the second half. More on that in a moment. I struggled with it because it seemed to reflect a dated, medieval view of God. In truth, it was because I didn't want to acknowledge my faults. The version I learned was this: (breathing in) Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God (breathing out) have mercy on me, a sinner. I hadn't yet come to the understanding that I was broken, that we all are in some way. Nobody's perfect. (Your mileage may vary on what "sin" means for you.) The traditional prayer (which I'm bringing up before someone else does) goes: "Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner." and it isn't used as a breath prayer either according to one website I read. Another version is: "Lord Jesus...

I am thinking about using Ann's prompts next month. From what I read last Monday from various people's posts, some were wondering if using the prompts meant they couldn't share other gifts, and others found it difficult. I think that maybe looking at the prompts might open my eyes to additional ways to give thanks that I haven't seen yet. We'll see! 237. having time to read about everybody else's gifts 238. hearing rain throughout the night, so soothing and alive 239. dog woofing in his sleep 240. sunshine 241. warm blankets 242. a dog that hogs the warm blanket 243. gift of healing 244. refrigerator door handle 245. dogs sunning themselves 246. spending a good chunk of the day thinking and writing about God 247. pink hawthorn bushes blooming 248. being able to sing fairly well (am still congested) 249. dog's arthritic leg 250. silliness at work 251. first poppy 252. husband making dinner 253. "snot" in choir 254. grateful fo...

About a month ago, while watching "Glee", Quinn Fabray learned that she'd gotten into Yale, despite going from most popular cheerleader to teen pregnancy to goth rebel to blackmailer. If there was a mistake to be made, Quinn made it. Quinn said this to her Glee club friends on announcing her acceptance into Yale: "I wasted so much time hating myself for the mistakes that I made ... I was the only one standing in the way of myself. You can't change your past but you can let go and start your future." Yeah, I rewound the scene to make sure I got the quote right. Loving yourself is hard when you hate yourself for the mistakes you've made. In reality, I was loved and supported, but in that dark place I put myself, I couldn't see that. I think part of the problem was that I felt I hadn't been punished enough for the mistakes I made. I've already shared once the dread I felt when I faced God with my mistakes . All this to say that Quinn ...

A shorter list this week, because I have been sick with whatever this cold/congestion/throat bug is. Ick. 223. waking up with a sore throat and feeling like a cold is coming on -- and going about my planned day anyway. 224. half hour afternoon nap 225. working from home (sick) 226. flowering calla lily handy for photo for Sunday "Notes" 227. blue fingers 228. fruit popsicles 229. light hearted workplace 230. scheduled bus not showing up (a gift because apparently someone had been sick all over the bus and it needed cleaning. Ew.) 231. "And God Cried" earworm (the second key change gives me chills). 232. actually taking a day off (still sick, but not working from home) 233. hubby doing all the laundry 234. wind howling around church 235. Tom's piano playing 236. My nose has finally started running. Praise be! Am linking this up to  Ann Voskamp's  "multitudes on Mondays" (or will as soon as it goes up!)

I am enjoying my Suzi Blu class "A Lovely Dream" and green seems to have  become a theme. For growth, perhaps? Anyway, I thought I would share a couple of pages. We were asked to do self portraits in two different ways. I still think this page is too green, but it's okay. What I wrote in watercolor pencil and then washed over was this: God, I need to remember your love. I bow my head and pray for the constant reminder of your presence ...  I will praise and lift up my head to receive your boundless, infinite love, your grace, mercy and forgiveness. I give You thanks. Yeah, there was a bit I wrote that got washed almost completely out and I don't remember the prayer any more although I'm surmising from the bit I can read it has something to do with seeing God in others "for we are all God's..."

Silence, for me right now, is both a sanity-saver and a sacrifice. I struggle to be silent before God. Part of my Rule as an Associate of the Order of the Holy Cross (AHC for short, thank goodness!) has a section on cultivating silence: Personal Prayer I need to spend time in silence with God. I would like to have quiet time every day. Three times a week, however, appears to be workable. Yeah, my Rule is a bit informal in style. The first version was epically detailed, the 2.0 version got a little more concise, but still chatty. fountain at St. Mary's Retreat House My current practice is to head to the church sanctuary and take a seat in a pew. I set a timer (the Equanimity app ) and close my eyes. I usually start out with the Jesus Prayer  (I pray a slightly different version which I will blog about sometime!), breathing consciously, and being aware of my body. And then I try to stop my babbling mind from, you know, babbling. Which doesn't always work, probably becau...