I've read Psalm 139 a bunch of times. It's in the Compline service in the "Lauds and Vespers" book that the monks at Mt. Calvary use. But last week, these verses leapt out at me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
The psalm might be familiar to you, if you read the beginning:
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways....
I was reading it for Thursday Vespers in the "Benedictine Daily Prayer: A Short Breviary" book that I'm currently using to pray with. [Woah! Amazon says its out of print!] Last week had been particularly tough, not just deadlines, but some other stuff as well, that I don't want to go into. The whole Vespers was exactly what I needed to hear from God right then and there.
But back to Psalm 139. This is the translation in "Benedictine Daily Prayer":
If I say: "Let the darkness hide me,
and the light around me be night,"
even darkness is not dark for you
and the night is as clear as the day.
My eyes opened. If I make darkness my choice, if I choose to turn away from God, not to see Him at work or acknowledge Him -- He's still there, shining as brightly as ever, burning away the darkness, as if I hadn't chosen to turn away at all. Still loving and caring for me.
Sometimes, I'm just gobsmacked at how immense and powerful God is, beyond comprehension. This was one of those "a-ha" moments.
Thanks, God. :)