Leanne Shawler, Artist

I shall stop talking about this "leaving" topic soon. It'll soon be time to look forward. At any rate, today, I wanted to share the link to the blog post I wrote yesterday on my church blog. Yesterday was my last day....

When I started to write this post, I went straight to my head. There was catechism and scripture quoting and all sorts of things. After it was written and as I fell asleep, I found myself thinking: where am I in this post?   Are these not meant to be meditations on our experience with this? Why did I go directly to the intellectual, safe, place?  What am I not doing that's made me put on my lecture pants? (I imagine them to be an orange plaid.)    Lecture-girl is usually guilt-driven (why yes, I have read   emily freeman 's   "grace for the good girl"   and I am doing the   read-along too ). What is it in "and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life" that scares me? Am I really dying to self? Am I really stepping aside and letting God lead me, guide me? When it comes to God versus the couch and potato chips, not so much. Before we get to the possible answers to these questions, let's segue and talk a bit about "eternal...

That's my latest challenge now that I'm leaving my job  (and yesterday's post, below). I have an endless summer of Sabbath to discern what God has planned for me in this next chapter of my life. I was afraid that, left to my own devices, I would fritter away my days surfing the net, watching tv, or playing Civilization IV. So I made a schedule. A schedule, as soon as I finished reading it, I saw was unkeepable. I mean look at it... It has footnotes and everything! Those footnotes are lists of different ways of being attentive to God, things that I would do if I were away on retreat. (Incidentally if you can read the fine print at the bottom, "coursework" refers to the Inner Excavate-along that I talked about here , followed by Christine ValtersPaintner's "The Artist's Rule of Life" .) OK, I told myself, this is just a guideline, that when I'm aimlessly wandering the house, or flicking through channels, this is where I will come...

One of my earliest memories of being in ministry (church work, if you will) is labeling lots of church newsletters and then walking all over the neighborhood, hand delivering them. I was a teen, post-confirmation. Church work (along with singing) has always been central to how I express my faith -- for both good and bad reasons. Good, being that I stepped up to fill a void. Good, in that I truly believe I was making a difference with my work. Bad, in that I did it to show that I was a good Christian, to prove I was worthy of being called a Christian. Bad, in that I acted out of fear. Yeah, I have some issues. I have shed or am shedding most of those bad reasons, but I still get tripped up in them sometimes. Now, after spending a lifetime of volunteering, leading, working for a church -- now, I am stopping . I've been told more than once that this will be really hard, to not be drawn back into that old way of being. But I've promised God to sit at...

Over the past few weeks, I've been writing down gifts that I've had to be a bit obscure about. I have been waiting for my church's official announcement so I could go public. It went out in an email on Friday and was announced on Sunday, so now I can share what's been going on. At the end of the month, I leave my job as Communications Director (part-time) at my church. For a bunch of reasons, but the two major ones are this: the job outgrew my skill set (my church needs someone to take them to the "next level"); and God has been calling me to something new and I needed to sit in the pews to answer that call. This new call started last October, during a retreat , and I partially answered it by refocusing my blog, but I always knew God wanted me to do something more. And, basically, both my boss and I discerned that I had to clear the decks to answer that call: to ask, to listen, to obey. I know I am incredibly privileged to not have to work and be able t...

I am running about a week behind the Inner Excavatealong , but I thought I would share one art journal spread that I've done (in my Full Tilt Boogie journa l). I'm at the beginning of a new chapter in my life, or will be as soon as work finishes up by the end of this month, so the read along was almost perfect timing. So glad I can go at my own pace. You can see the photo exercise for week 1 peeking out behind the short page on the right. I've been documenting my last couple of weeks at work. It feels a little more scrap-booky than art-journaly right now, using foam stamps I haven't used in an age, and using photos instead of painting and drawing (and having way too much fun with washi tape), but as I go on (especially as I get more time), I'm hoping the pages will be a little more developed... In case you can't read the two poems, here they are: I am an adventurer who likes to play it safe a soul bestowed green and gold all shades of purple quiet ...

We continue the series on the Prayer of St. Francis. Our guest today is Mary. She is a thirty something Catholic woman who enjoys gardening, swimming, and verbal sparring. She lives in a nondescript small town with her husband and two elderly cats. You can find her blog at  St. Henry .  Several years ago, one of my friends was killed by a drunk driver.  To protect his family's privacy, I'll call him Jacob, but that's not his real name.  Jacob had done some dumb things when he was young, but he turned his life around in a major way, had a family he adored, and was committed to being the best man he could be.  And just as it seemed that everything had come together for him, it was all over.  "Unfair" doesn't begin to describe it. Those of you who've lost someone suddenly know the hurricane of emotion that swirls around you during those first few days.  Shock. Pain. Sadness over what that person was and the dreams they never fulfilled.  An...

497. gray skies 498. making a bus connection 499. jacaranda in full bloom 500. marine layer and a longer walk to work 501. smile from driver who waited for me to cross the driveway 502. curious, but at peace 503. woo hoo! made it to 500! 504. fresh air 505. prayer answered 506. cheeping of baby finches 507. baby finch progress 508. feedback on an art journal page 509. waiting for glue to dry 510. half day 511. finished journal (making it not creating inside) 512. an amazing husband 513. warm water from the shower pulsing on my head 514. music saves 515. spiritual discussion over breakfast 516. beautiful art 517. sore leg, feeling sick 518. birdies are gone from the nest 519. feeling better and rested 520. walking around nephew's college campus in 100+ degree weather 521. ice cold water Am linking this up to  Ann Voskamp's  "multitudes on Mondays" (or will as soon as it goes up!)

Today's guest blogger in this series on the Prayer of St. Francis is Helena Chan. Helena doesn't have a blog. Together, we went through EfM (Education for Ministry) for three of the four years and we now chant Lauds at the Cathedral once a month. Rummaging through my closet, I recover a sizable 11 x 14 calligraphic incarnation of this prayer attributed to Saint Francis,  delivered by the hands of a Benedictine monk. Brother Roy’s black and blue ink flow from the outer edge of the page in concentric circles,  toward the center – LORD – embossed and imprinted in the paper,  anchoring the prayer as I touch, see, and sense. Momentarily, my mind flits to another place, distracted from Brother Roy and the calligraphy before me.  I pull “St. Benedict’s Prayer Book” off my shelf, wondering whether these Benedictines have this prayer in their collection.  They do, and here it is: Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred...

This is my first Full Tilt Boogie journal, a class I'm taking from Mary Ann Moss. Being not quite ready to cut apart a vintage photo album, I cut apart a book Mum had passed along from a friend. "Great Thoughts from Master Minds". I thought this was a perfect title for my journal. Unfortunately, I couldn't quite get the binding to not cover "Great" so it's "At Thoughts..." The "tapes" are velvet brown corduroy with green velvet on top. The center ribbon is some moss greenish grosgrain (I think it is called). The binding wasn't as tight as I hoped and I found one was really really loose, so I made this dangle and twisted the cord around it until it was tight... The saint's medal is of St. Philomena (who is supposed to be an early martyr but this has apparently been debunked) Some pages inside.... possibly my favorite signature... I am in my last signature of the art journal I learned out to ...

Hi all, This week's Prayer of St. Francis post will be delayed until some time on Saturday or maybe not til Tuesday.  My guest this week got called away on a business trip before finishing up her post and between her weekend and mine, getting it online will be a bit tricky. Thanks for your patience :) Hmm, St. Francis doesn't pray for patience, does he? No wonder he's my kinda guy. I'm too impatient to pray for patience too! Why do you think there's no prayer for patience in this prayer? Is it buried in one of the lines? Leave your thoughts in a comment! (To catch up and read earlier posts in the Prayer of St. Francis series, click  here .)

I have a feeling this summer is going to be the summer of read-alongs. But here's one that started last week and that I meant to blog about but obviously didn't. I've already read emily freeman's "grace for the good girl" once and really wanted to read it again. I loaned my copy to a fellow good girl, so I had to go get myself another copy which I've actually been underlining (in pencil). Yeah, I'm such a good girl. But I think I can say for the most part, that I am a recovering good girl. This week covers chapters 4-6, including my favorite chapter on Martha of Bethany.  As it's a read-along on the author's blog, you can catch up quite easily, or read along at your own pace. It's a great book, even if I disagree with the theology in chapter 10. This week's questions (and my answers) are: 1. What is your main reason for hiding behind your fake fine?  Is it because you are afraid (what will they think of me!), lazy (it ta...

God is pretty awesome. I struggle to trust in God but I'm getting better at remembering that God's there with me. It now takes half a day instead of several, or never. I worry, I fret, I lose sleep and then it's like ... oh, yeah. God's here with me and will be. And I'm almost successful in putting the worry away. Almost. This might be why this week has been easier to find the gifts God displays around me and within me. Here are the gifts from the past week. 473. looking in the mirror and finding a curl in the middle of my forehead 474. lavender blue of agapanthus bloom 475. peonies at Vons 476. finding a lost letter 477. baby laughter 478. irish whisky cupcake with Bailey's butter cream frosting (ate it before I thought to take a photo) 479. first harvest for the season (cucumbers) a curvy Japanese cucumber and a Burpless cucumber. This is a photo that isn't taken with my crappy iPhone for once... 480. comments at "chatting...

This is the same St. Francis as in the other posts, this is how small the statue is! Today's post is from my husband, Dan. Does he need any more introduction than that? O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek … to be loved, as to love. The prayer has it right on the surface.  It is in loving that we are loved by others.  If we never extend our love to others we will probably not receive love from others.  But reality is deeper and has many more layers than that. The two great commandments are “you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37) and “you must love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:38). I actually see three commands here.  Love God.  Love your neighbor.  Love yourself. Perhaps the most difficult of the three, and in a way the most important, is the last; love yourself.  If you can’t love yourself, you won’t be able to enter a loving relationshi...

tawny frogmouth owl from last year's trip home to Australia 452. weeding 453. warm sun 454. bbq salmon for dinner 455. eating too many calories again 456. decision made 457. heavy baby 458. buzzed by hummingbird 459. reading Esther 460. bouncing "senior" dog on a walk 461. carpenter bee amongst the zucchini blossoms 462. entertaining baby 463. choir summer party 464. a decision told 465. pork grease with a good friend 466. being trusted 467. shaping the wisteria 468. bee landing on my shirt while I weeded 469. making sausage rolls 470. singing "holy holy holy" 471. creamy PanPastels 472. bouncing moth Am linking this up to  Ann Voskamp's  "multitudes on Mondays" (or will as soon as it goes up!)

I seem to be saying more often than not that it has been quite a week. More on that some other time. This month's God Stories are short, as I posted two sets in May! a prayer for the broken-hearted by Ann Voskamp on the (in)courage blog Jennifer Fulwiler writes about therapy and the spiritual life on the Catholic National Register

Today's post comes from Patty Stewart. Here's her bio in her own words: " I am blessed to be part of the Newman Center, Catholic Community at UCSD staff; I have been part of the staff since November 2004. Time flies when you’re having fun! It seems like I stopped in for daily Mass at 12:10 just “yesterday”. I continue to manage day to day operations, serve as Advisor for the Faith Formation committee, direct the Christian Initiation process with a community team, and share leadership with other staff on the Building Tomorrow endeavors, Pastoral Council and the Liturgy committee. Occasionally I have to stop and see what “hat” I am wearing at any given moment. My life experiences happily include 38 years of marriage (whoo hoo!), 3 remarkable adult children, and 3 delightful grandsons. For 30+ years I have worked in 6 parishes or Catholic schools in Faith Formation and liturgical ministries up and down the Pacific Coast (from Seattle to San Diego). My formal education...