Grant that we may not so much seek to be consoled as to console...

And with this line, we enter the second half of St. Francis' prayer.


"Grant that we may not so much seek to be consoled as to console..."

There is a certain abandonment of self in this, but not total abandonment.

When my father-in-law died, any sorrow I had needed to be put aside so that I could be a comfort and a support to my husband and his family.

I had done much the same a few years prior when his grandfather had died. That had been easier because I'd only visited him once before.

But my father-in-law I'd gotten to know and care for, especially through his last long illness. 

So grief was kept at bay until late one night, in bed, in the dark, I cried. There was probably no reason to hold it in for all the time I did but I didn't want my grief to take precedence over my husband's.

Of course I wasn't alone in that night and my husband comforted me, consoled me, as I had consoled him leading up to that moment.

It is important to grieve and even in a shared grief, it important to let the other know that they are not alone.

Through consoling each other, we each can feel a little less helpless and a little less alone.